Alright then. So maybe I'm not going in for lithotripsy. Which is good news I think, at least for now.
I do, in fact, have two stones in my right kidney. But when I had the tests done on Friday, they looked ginormous on the sonogram and didn't show up at all on the x-ray.
Dude, what's up with that?
Naturally my doctor didn't call me back on Friday. When I finally got to speak to him on Monday, he explained that basically - why mince words? - I was full of shit. Essentially, the kidney stones were invisible on the x-ray because the colon sits on top of the kidneys and... well... yeah. So we decided that I would fast, et cetera, and re-take the x-ray on Tuesday.
Which I did. Lo and behold, the stones miraculously appeared! The radiologist that day said sort of offhandedly that yeah, it was somewhat pointless to do a KUB x-ray without fasting first. Good to know, since this is at least the fifth or sixth time I've had it done.
Anyway. OK, so the stones showed up. And they look to be about 3mm each. Not 9+mm, as I'd originally been told. Why would a sonogram make a stone appear three times its actual size? I have no fucking idea. Frustrating, no? But the plain fact is that given my current state of relatively good health, a 3mm stone does not warrant the trauma of lithotripsy.
So the good news is that I don't have to have two surgeries in the month of February (I'm still having my wisdom teeth out). The somewhat bad news is that I *do* have two stones hanging out in my kidney, and they could get bigger. Super Big Gulp OF WATER anyone? Why I do believe I will, thanks...