Tuesday, April 6, 2010

How much fun is my place of work?

Here is a collection of the emails we've received in the past three business days.

One:
"New Policy: all special occasions, birthday cakes, showers etc. must be celebrated during the lunch hour, 12:30 to 1:30."
Two:
"The firm recently expanded its internet capability at a significant expense in order to accommodate the sending and receiving of firm emails and their attachments as well as the use of the internet for firm business.

Recently, however, we have experienced unacceptable slow downs due to non-business uses of our bandwidth, including movies and various forms of streaming video and audio.

We will shortly restrict these non-business activities to a minimum."
Three:
"It has come to my attention that some of you are wearing jeans (or slacks that look like jeans or knit sweat type pants) and wearing sneakers during the work day.

Please adhere to our NO JEANS AND NO SNEAKER policy."
Are you filled with warm fuzzies or what? Personally, I'm waiting for the "no personal items on the desk" and/or "no brightly colored items of clothing may be worn" email, just to round out the set. Or maybe they'll just throw my lunch out from the shared staff kitchen... AGAIN.

Ahh, office life. It's a blast.

7 comments:

Genevieve said...

WOOHOO! Let's party from the appropriate hours of 12:30 to 1:30! In our full business regalia! There will be the craziness of lampshades on heads and beer funnels but no denim or denim-appearing materials of any kind!

Dan said...

as long as they don't cancel hawaiian shirt friday.

Genevieve said...

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

melissa bastian. said...

Oh definitely. DEFINITELY.

Tom said...

This reminds me of when my brother told me of his company cutting back its budget. They decided that all employees of ten years who normally got a cake and coffee as an office celebration would now be getting...coffee.

As he put it, "A free cup of coffee for ten years of service to the company...I knew then that it was time to get out. Quickly."

It also reminds me of pure stupidity. Apparently, before I worked where I do now, we had "casual day" on Fridays where one was allowed to wear jeans and appropriate other casual attire, so long as it was free from holes, not dirty, etc. One guy, ONE GUY continuously showed up in clothes with holes in them, dirty sweatshirts, the like. Rather than discipline said one guy, they did away with the entire thing. Said guy was eventually fired (for reasons not related to clothing, but equally stupid)...and the ban was never lifted. Let us all be punished for the actions of one person, who is no longer employed, and because management was afraid to confront one person! Woohoo!

melissa bastian. said...

"Let us all be punished for the actions of one person, who is no longer employed, and because management was afraid to confront one person!"

Replace "afraid to" with "completely without the skills to" and you've got my company in a nutshell... except that the people who make all the trouble don't get fired either. They continue to get raises every year, even, and have always sat in better spots than me - even before I got sent to the basement.

Tamonster said...

they took away all our personal emails and any social networking or gossip site or video or streaming website. lame.