Last week: 55 hours. The week before last: 51 hours. The week before that: how the hell am I supposed to remember the week before that? I worked 106 hours in two weeks! Last week I worked seven days in a row! Oh, yeah, and remind me to NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN, wouldja?
Yeah, I think you could say I've been a bit busy. And the irony is that it hasn't even been for our impending trial, jury selection for which is scheduled to begin tomorrow. Nope. That, if it goes forward, will cause a whole new wave of insanity. This last couple of weeks has been nothing but me trying to keep up with what is now my normal workload. Does anyone else see a little bit of a problem there?
In my last post I briefly mentioned that I got a fake promotion. Well, I got a fake title to go with it: I'm now the "Delaware Administrator". What it means is that I now take care of much of the administrative work - filing deadlines, deposition scheduling, etc. - that the attorneys have heretofore been responsible for. (Yes, you read correctly. I am now responsible for what attorneys used to be responsible for.) I'm also still the only Delaware trial paralegal, and I also still have all of my casework. So whereas before I was trying to do the work of approximately two people, now I'm trying to do the work of at least three. And, you know, that's how we roll here at Dewey, Screwum, and Howe. But the fact that it's status quo doesn't make me any less tired.
Yesterday I held it together; was actually feeling pretty good. Today, I broke. Was once again flooded with that old feeling: I bust my ass, do the best work I can do, go above and beyond... why, again? Oh, right, so that I can be taken for granted and given more work, which will then be complained about even though it's much better (and more) work product than almost anyone else here turns out... It's a bad place to be. It's why I left last year. Except that now, I don't have the kind of savings account that I did then. Now, I have a wedding I'm trying to put together, in the middle of a major recession...
Ah, the wedding. A bright spot and a major source of stress all at once. That's one thing to be said for all the OT - the 36 hours of overtime on my upcoming paycheck sure will take the sting out of the photographer and invitation payments I put down this week. Money isn't everything, but sometimes there's no substitute.
So yeah, I left work early today. I'm exhausted; I'm overwrought. It'll be alright. It's a bad day after a long hard couple of weeks. This week, at least, should be more normal. If we do indeed go to trial, as of Sunday I'll be plunged back into the insanity - I will in fact be taking a train to Delaware so I can just live right there in the middle of crazytown. So do me a favor? Keep your fingers crossed for me that those fuckers SETTLE! Cuz you know what? I think I'd enjoy, say, two whole weeks of calm.