I'm in New Orleans. I have a sinus infection. Rock.
Quite the way to start the year, but then my body does not like travel, so when I planned this multi-leg flying-and-driving trip I was sort of asking for it. I think the clincher was in staying at my parents' house - between the sheer annoyance and the fact that they have three cats, it was almost inevitable. Anyway, I am remiss in having yet to review the past year, and setting goals for this; I am in fact days and days late. Butdamnit, it's not my fault. I'm on vacation and I'm sick; that has to be some kind of excuse, doesn't it? (Apparently this will not be the year that I give up procrastination and the rationalization thereof.) Anyway, as I've always said, better late than never.
As for last year, well. Thirty did not want to go quietly, did it? Or maybe I didn't want to let it. Either way, it turned out to be tumultuous to say the least. I discovered / discerned / achieved a few things though, including but not limited to the following:
-If I'm going to quit my job, I need to have a much better plan for how to spend my time and how to become re-employed.
-I can be just about as crazy and sick as I get, and Jonathan will still want to be with me... he won't necessarily happy about me being crazy and sick, but he'll still want to be with me.
-I no longer have the stamina to work in a coffee shop. I'll leave that shit to you young kids. Make me a freakin' soy latte already.
-I really like having my own studio.
-If I ever get another studio, it should be a block or less from my house.
-There are people in the world who want to buy my art and print my writing, but I should probably be working harder to find them... and to provide them with things to buy and print.
-Marriage is for me; weddings are not.
-Hanging artwork in public is scary, but satisfying - even if no one buys anything.
-I shouldn't take art classes for something that I already do, unless it gives me studio time and equipment access.
-York College can kiss my ass.
And so, goals for the coming year:
-Figure out this whole marriage shtick, along with some of the details of our "future" - where to live when we eventually leave NY and such and so forth.
-Make more art and write more words - and show both to various and sundry peoples.
-Specifically, finish my started and planned paintings, and edit the novel that I've already written.
-Spend more time in the studio.
-Lose some freaking goddamn weight. Cliche, I know, but somehow over the summer I managed to gain fifteen to twenty pounds, and I can't fit into most of my pants or dresses. Not cool. I am not buying a new wardrobe, nor am I pleased with my appearance, and therefore theblub must go.
-Get money saved again.
-Continue to work on that tricky work/life balance thing.
-Be happier, healthier, more well adjusted, bla bla fucking bla. I hate goals. Screw goals. I'm just gonna do stuff.
Since I'm probably not going to uproot my life at its foundations this year, 2009 is bound to at least be a bit more stable than 2008 was. And really, there's something to be said for stability. It provides a platform, you know, the kind on which to build things. And while it may be an illusion, it's an illusion that allows us to be productive - more than can be said for most. So, I'll stick with it, even if I know all too well that all things that seem fixed are actually paper thin and infinitely malleable. At least with the illusion of stability, there is a place from which to begin. And so my loves, here we go.