Thursday, September 25, 2008

Stupid.

It's 4:30 in the morning. Am I in bed? No. Despite the fact that my eyeballs feel like they're about to fall out of my skull, I'm still sitting here in front of my computer. Why?

Why.

Well.

Probably, it's because I don't want to face tomorrow.

See, tomorrow, I'm going to swing by my former place of employment. To see, if, you know, they might want to, you know, employ me again.

I am scared of doing this. I have gone through many debates with myself as to whether or not it is the right choice, or even an acceptable choice. And I must remind myself that "choice" is really a conceit, seeing as in six months I've turned up no other viable offers.

So I'm doing it, despite the risk that they may simply say no.

I'll be doing it assuming, of course, that I ever make it to bed. Because if I don't go to bed, I can't go to sleep, and I can't wake up in the morning, and I can't go anywhere at all. See?

Jesus I'm an asshole. I need to go to bed like four hours ago. Anybody got a flux capacitor?

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