Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Developments... sort of.

OK. So today, I am to interview at mega-corporate Law Firm number three. Boy am I excited! At least this one doesn't have a wikipedia entry like the last one did - now you know that's serious. I still haven't heard a final word from them of course; when I was there on Monday they said they wanted to bring me back a third time, to meet with the partners they're considering placing me under. But, as of yet, I don't even have an appointment for that. It's possible that it's not actually going to happen. It's also possible that the lawyers are controlling enough not to let a hiring happen without their express approval, but don't actually care enough to carve out a scheduled ten minute block to meet with me. I've met lawyers. This is entirely within the realm of possibility.

So today, Firm Three. I had to go out yesterday and buy more interview clothes, since I've exhausted every shirt I could possibly wear with the one "suit" that I own. (It gets rough when you have to go back to the same place three times. That is of course assuming that I am actually going back the third time.) My suit isn't really a suit - the pieces weren't made to go together, and I didn't buy them at the same time. They're both just black. I have tons of 'corporate casual' stuff since I lived in it for two and a half years, but despite the fact that that's what I'd wear every day if I land one of these jobs, I certainly can't show up to an interview like that. Now if it were me, and I was interviewing people, and I cared about how they looked in the place of work, I'd want them to show up to the interview dressed like they would to come to work. If I did that though, if I showed up in anything less than a "suit", it would be no from the get-go. A bit of a conundrum, no doubt, but I don't make up these stupid rules.

I've decided that if there are no firm job offers from the megas, or interviews with jobs that I actually want, by the end of next week, I'm throwing in the towel. Biting the bullet. Giving up. In other words? Calling up my old job and seeing if they want me back. This just has to end. As I was saying yesterday, when I can't make next month's rent without calling up mommy for a loan, that's when it's gone too far. The big trouble, when I'll be officially beyond screwed, is if they don't have a place for me. Then... well then, I see if their biggest competitor has anything to offer.

* * * One Hour Later.

10:41 am, and still nothing in my inbox. No email from the agency twat telling me when I get to go back for the third interview at Firm Two; no replies to all the cover letter/resume combos I've been sending out as prompted by listings on Craigslist and Idealist. A whole lotta nothin', and I'm becoming one of those people - the people that, well, obsessively check their inboxes. (And then blog about it.) I even spend time carefully scanning my junk mail, just in case. Sure, it's probably just spam for penis enlargement and mortgages - those people seriously want me to have a bigger penis - but what if it's one of the food-related non-profits telling me to call them for an interview immediately? I mean, it could happen right? Hey, if it weren't for this baseless optimism, I would have given up entirely long, long ago.

Somehow in all this interview mess, my own work has gotten lost in the shuffle. Over a week ago I rode the E train - have we seen a blog about it? Noooo. I must remember myself. I get so caught up and so dragged down in trying to make myself fit into this bizarro societal mold. I am not the mold, I say; it's all just an act. But if I forget the things that make me me, and I am also not the mold, then where am I? Lost.

The interview's not till three. I believe I'll spend some time being myself before the show starts.

No comments: