Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Why did I choose July?

So, I'm ridiculously busy. Tuesday and Thursday nights I have class. Tuesdays I have to leave work early so that I can see my therapist before class. Wednesday nights I'm meeting with Rudy to work on our new zine, name as of yet undetermined. Saturday nights I work at Think.

Why wouldn't I choose now to start up a new project?

It seems that I'm determined to run myself crazy. Now seemed the right time to start the subway project, what can I say? It's just one of those things, some kind of inertia. I get busy, and a piece of my brain starts thinking like, ok, how can I be as busy as possible all the time? And boy can I give it answers - quick too.

So now I'm sitting here in my studio, stealing a minute between the shrink and my painting-from-photos class. I'm starving - I'm kind of living off of whatever nonperishable food makes its way into my bag each morning. It's mostly granola bars. But never fear, when I get home tonight (9? 9:30? 10?) I'll make up for it by gorging myself on whatever I can find. Probably last night's pizza and a fruit bar. Ahh, nutrition.

When did I become so reckless? And when will it catch up with me? Surely it will, though I'm acting like it won't. I'm nurturing a little seed of hope that I can keep riding this jag of frenetic activity with no side effects. It could happen, right? Sure. Especially if I keep eating poorly and not sleeping enough. Um, yeah...

Time for class! Maybe I'll be bad and cut out early, but when I do that I end up feeling like my money's been wasted. I can only paint for so long in one sitting though, so I'll probably paint until I can't paint no more and then split. The teacher, I dunno - I'm thinking I won't get a whole lot out of him, as amazing an artist as he is. He sort of just rambles, like that uncle everybody has who never shuts up but you humor him because he's nice and every once in a while he says something worthwhile. But who knows. Maybe tonight good ol' George will have some fascinating insights into my work that will have me on the edge of my seat. Anything's possible.

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