Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dear MTA, would you PLEASE stop f*cking with the N train?

We understand. There's necessary track work to be done. It's an old system. It needs maintenance, repair, loving care. Sure. Fine. Grand.

But MTA, let's be logical about this, shall we? Your constituency, we have some concerns, and we'd be ever so grateful if you'd hear us out for just a moment or two. You would? Why, how very gracious of you.

Concern number one: If you must stop all the N trains from going past 57th street, might you perhaps not do it for four weeks straight? I know what you're thinking. "But I don't do it until after midnight, and I only do it on weeknights." Yes dear MTA, this is true. But please understand that we work on weeknights. Sometimes we get off of work at 1am (or later). And so to us, it has been 4 weeks in a row that we must take three trains home instead of one, that we arrive home at 3 am instead of 1:45. So we ask you, might you have broken that up just a little bit? Hmm? After all, it's not as if the tracks are totally unsafe or unusable, is it? We certainly hope not, since, as you so correctly point out, trains are running over those tracks all day long and straight through on the weekends.

Concern number two: You know that you've told us to get off of our beloved N train at 42nd street, to get onto the dreaded and foreign 7 train which will take us to Queensboro Plaza where we can rejoin the truncated N, where there on the east side of the river it is performing an Astora shuttle dance. You tell us to do precisely this over and over again over crackly overcom. So why, why, why is it that when we get out at Times Square, run up the first staircase, around the bend, up the second staircase, through the hallway with the bad public art, and finally down three more staircases to get to the 7 train platform, we arrive exactly in time to see the 7 train just leaving the station? Sometimes in time to hear the doors closing as we mount that third and final descending staircase? At this point it is at least 1:30 in the morning, sometimes much later. There will not be another 7 train for at least 15 minutes, and after it arrives it will wait awhile at this end-of-the-line destination. You knew we were coming. You, in fact, invited us to come, just short of handing out engraved cards. So is there any particular reason that that 7 train could not wait for, say, another 60 seconds in order to shave 20 or so minutes off of the already abnormally extended commute of work weary travelers?

MTA, we love you and appreciate you for all that you do. But make this one simple request: would you please, please, PLEASE stop f*cking with the N train?

We'd be much obliged.

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