Wednesday, April 23, 2008

sometimes i hate being right.

well, i didn't get it. the internship, that is, the one i haven't been talking about lest i jinx it. well, i could have talked about it all i wanted apparently. after waiting for a week and a half, i finally sent an email asking if any decisions had been made. i don't think that was inappropriate, since the internship was to start a week from tomorrow. it was reaching need to know status. well i got a reply email two hours later, and it went like this:

Dear Melissa:

We would like to thank you for your interest in an internship position with The New Press. The quality of the applicants who responded to our posting made the selection process extremely difficult. While we were very impressed with your qualifications, after careful consideration we have chosen a candidate whose prior experience and background fit more closely with our internship program.

We appreciate the time you have taken to explore an internship possibility with The New Press, and wish you success in your endeavors.

rather form-letter-ish, no? i don't think i would have heard from them at all if i hadn't written. i guess they were just going to wait until the start date of the internship and let me figure it out on my own. a little harsh, says i.

am i disappointed? yes. do i feel like i've been punched in the stomach at least six times? yes. but there's naught to be done about it. i was not chosen, and i have to move on, and do my best not to wonder what i did or did not do to make me not good enough.

i have other things to do, lots of them. i have open studios coming up! certainly that needs more of my time and energy; it's less than a month away now. i need to paint. i need to recreate my studio space so that it more resembles a show space. i have a whole new series of paintings to start. i have things to write.

and besides, i knew, didn't i? apparently it wasn't the right opportunity for me. or some crap like that.

i have to get out of the house now, before i fall into the tar pit of depression and end up late for work.

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