today i am both more so and less so. by the time i was getting into bed last night, i was thinking, there's no way i can work from 9am to 7pm every day! effectively that means leaving home at 8am and not getting back until 8pm at the earliest. and studio time during the week? you can just forget about that. but then how can i turn it down? how indeed.
i woke up this morning feeling just as ambivalent, and exhausted to boot. needless to say, i did not want to report to the job that i have forsaken, but like the good little monkey that i am i will work out my last three weeks. of course, i did spend most of the day looking for other jobs. what do they expect? and that's how i found out... THAT SUSTAINABLE TABLE IS HIRING! now, understand that if i had to pick a dream job, and i do really mean dream job, it would be working for Sustainable Table. ever seen The Meatrix? if not, i demand that you go watch it right now.
wasn't that amazing? well, that's just one of their side projects. their work can only be described as what i want to do with my life. now, there are two major problems with me getting this job. the first is that they are hiring an administrative assistant - not exactly activist outreach a-go-go. but i don't care! i will be a cog in that machine! i will start at the bottom, regardless of pay or work duties for the chance to work with these people. seriously. the bigger one is that, well, they've already rejected me for this position. it was back in december of 2006. granted, i sent them a ridiculous email - i couldn't help myself; i was excited. so this time i composed something much more professional, while still trying to express my enthusiasm for the organization. it's a really tough balance. it looks like the person who is reviewing applications is different than it was then; this was over a year ago. maybe i have a chance this time around? i mean, obviously whoever they chose instead of me didn't work out, right?
it's just so frustrating. i would be so great for them! and they would be so great for me! the whole thing would be great, from top to bottom, side to side, back to front and beginning to end. i want there to be a way for me to pick up the phone and just explain to them, listen people, I'M YOUR GIRL. not only will i do the job, but i'll do it better than anyone else while caring about the bigger picture and being really excited to be there! but there's nothing i can do but sit here and wait to see if they a) read my email and b) decide i'm worth responding to. they specifically say no phone calls and no drop-ins. does it count as a drop-in if i just stand outside their offices and hold up a sign? "will work for minimal pay for the opportunity to do meaningful work - please inquire"?
sustainable table, if you're listening, please just give me an interview. i promise, it's a win win situation.